Soft doesn't mean Easy
Soft skills are the glue that connects people, according to Nancy Vader-McCormick, a professor of speech at Delta College in University City, Michigan, Soft skills, sometimes calledLife or Strategic skills, typically are defined as skills that are not technical or task oriented. Examples include communication, conflict resolution, honesty, anger management and trust, among many others.
Sue Mackey, founder of the Mackey Group in Issaquah, Washington, trains people about the importance of soft skills and how to use them. Mackey says one of the biggest complaints from employers is a lack of practical knowledge and relationship building.
She sites Donald Trump's popular show The Apprentice and says the well-educated contestants usually get fired because of soft skill deficiencies. Mackey believes people who stay in dead-end jobs often are there for the same reason
Start With You
Amy Yoakum, a Kansas-based human resource professional, has 15 years of experience recruiting employees and training leaders. Yoakum believes effective communication is one otf the most important skills for an employee to have.
Succeeding as a customer service representative or a team player requires this skill. She also looks for people with a strong work ethic.
Taking comments at work personally can cloud your vision and your response. Life coach Bob Levy of Life Works in Marshal, Michigan, says, "My premise is there is no possibility to access soft skills without clarity. Be clear about yourself, your values and your relationships - all other (skills) flow from there."
Don't Get Mad
Mackey agrees, and says anger, one of the most difficult emotions in the workplace, can be managed through soft skills. Mackey explains, "A lot of anger we have about someone or a situation is because we fail to ask, "What do these words mean?" We think about things in our own terms. Ask "What can I do for you?" That stops negative dialogue.
What if you lack good soft skills? Can they be learned? Soft skills may come more naturally to some people than others. However, there are ways to improve your soft skills. Levy, who has taught this topic extensively, feels soft skills such as compassion, clarity and understanding can be develooped.
He explains, "With a math test you read the questions fo you understand what is being asked. In life ask, "What is needed?" We often see soft skills as being outside of us. Truly it happens inside of us."
Fine-Tune Your Attitude
Vader-McCormick suggests starting with a self-assessment of your skill levels. Learn about different soft skills and how they can be applied. Then practice. Video tape yourself and ask for feedback from others..
Most people, when they understand soft skills and how they work, want to use them because they help you in the world.
Mackey stresses that soft skills are not stand-alone skills. For instance, problem-solvers utilize many skills including trust and communication. Likewise, conflict may not always be resolvable, but it may be managed by using a variety of skills together.
"Integrate all of the steps," advises Mackey. "You have to know who the stakeholders are and the outcomes."
What Do Others See
Interviewers can learn techniques to analyze a potential employee's soft skills as well.. Yoakum says, "The key to finding out if someone has soft skills is to ask behavioral -based questions. One of my favorites is, "tell me about a time when you had a conflict with a supervisor." Ask questions about how they handled it."
These kinds of questions help interviewers dig deep to see the connection between an event and the skills the potential employee used. Yoakum finds this type of interviewing often reveals qualities that the interviewee may try to hide.
Interviewers can use scenarios and questions that create situations to assess how the potential employee performs. Vader-McCormick says, "Ask for concrete examples, both positive and negative, of conflict and communication situations."
Improving soft skills can move your career in the right direction and make you a valuable employee and leader. Levy says, "most people, when they understand soft skills and how they work, want to use them because they help you in the world.
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